I'd rather enjoy something than be in pain and depression over it,

written by Anthony

I'm a 44 year old Gay White Male str8 acting. Non smoker. No drugs, not into Nelly Fems, Tattoos or Piercing and only social drinker.

I love the outdoors,traveling,cooking,landscaping and gardening,photography,cuddling,and long walks on the beach.

I'm a hopeless romanic and very domestic. I'm an Interior decorator as well. I have many other interests .

There is something magical about the ocean, I must have had a past life that involved the sea. I was probably a mermaid in my past life,LOL. Maybe that's why I gay this go around.LOL

I was a landscape/interior designer by trade. Had to change careers last year due to having a heat stoke and heat exhaustion.

I am just getting settled into my new place, with all the packing, unpacking, sorting and purging that comes with moving which I hate with a passion.


I have had to wear diapers, ever since I was in a car accident when I was 16. That was over 27 plus years ago, neediness to say wearing diapers was not a fun thing or sexual thing for me. For two years, my Junior and Senior years of Highschool I was paralyzed and in a wheel chair, I was in a full body cast and couldn’t take care of myself. My mom quit her job to take care of me, such as changing me, feeding me, bathing me and so on, I was quite embarrassed to say the least, but in time it became habit I guess, My mom and I are very close.

When I turned 18 I began to get feeling back in my legs and started therapy and did learn to walk again. My journey in life has never been easy, but I’m a fighter and survivor,and I have never gave up. This is just a tip of the iceberg in the story of my life. Maybe one day I will write a book of my life.

Until about three years ago, I still hated wearing diapers, a friend told me if I have to wear them, then learn to enjoy them.

Well After I learned there were people who had to wear for medical reasons and some who love to wear diapers for fun it changes my outlook ten fold.

I can say it has made a major change in my life. No pun intended.
I'm sure there are those of you who will read this and say your gross or sick, but you'll never understand what my life has been like.

I'd rather enjoy something than be in pain and depression over it, which was what my life was for a very long time.

I'm looking for friends who can understand and relate to this on some cosmic level. My dream is to find a LTR with a guy who can love me for who I am. Not what they want me to be, I will always be handicapped.

I was married for 9 years and had 3 beautiful children, but was never happy with a women, I knew I was GAY but wanted children and tried to live a str8 lifestyle to fulfill that dream. Nine years ago, we lost our son in an accident when he was only 18 months old, another reason my marriage failed, she never has gotten over that and hasn't tried to move on or forward. I have moved on and forward but there will always be a huge hole in my heart.

I'm lucky to have my own Guardian Angel who looks after me now.

Life is too short to be unhappy.

Hugs Anthony

Found written by Anthony

Dan Novak repeating something he heard "Don't judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes."